Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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