My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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