Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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