; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Do you still have your period?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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