you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
