You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
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