I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
