great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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