so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
