WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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