I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize