i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
