As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
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After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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