Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
