I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
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I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
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Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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