I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
