dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize