Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
