I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize