We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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