HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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