i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Do vagina's smell?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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