so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
