I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
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