If i come over, it means nothing
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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