Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
