We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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