I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
