would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
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We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
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Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
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