saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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