i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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