I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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