No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize
