great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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