your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
