i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Did I show you my penis last night?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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