her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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