How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
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I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
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I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I party with great urgency now.
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