P.S. I can't hear my feet
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize