Betty ford says i'm here all night
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize