This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize