Whats the glycemic index on semen?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
