Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
