I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
