we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
