Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
