you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
