so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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