Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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