Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.

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  (248): the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot. http://tfl.nu/4bij
  Replies (20) Good night (2284) Bad night (747) Order T-Shirt
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops

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  (803): I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me. (803): I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops http://tfl.nu/kudg
  Replies (6) Good night (3948) Bad night (580)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it

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  (412): you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it http://tfl.nu/8zt4
  Replies (15) Good night (7603) Bad night (1017) Order T-Shirt
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  (619): View more from California

  Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?

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  (619): Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it? http://tfl.nu/4s1d
  Replies (34) Good night (1893) Bad night (4457) Order T-Shirt
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...

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  (613): Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry... http://tfl.nu/3gdb
  Replies (51) Good night (6312) Bad night (786) Order T-Shirt
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop

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  (720): I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop http://tfl.nu/llg8
  Replies (36) Good night (5558) Bad night (1431) Order T-Shirt
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?

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  (612): Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong? http://tfl.nu/gz8r
  Replies (44) Good night (1450) Bad night (4654) Order T-Shirt
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.

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  (413): I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3. http://tfl.nu/k38v
  Replies (38) Good night (14712) Bad night (1336)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time

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  (732): its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time http://tfl.nu/vuuh
  Replies (57) Good night (971) Bad night (7617) Order T-Shirt
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  (660): View more from Missouri

  THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.

  (816): View more from Missouri

  ..So we should take it off Youtube?

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  (660): THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you. (816): ..So we should take it off Youtube? http://tfl.nu/93os
  Replies (28) Good night (10933) Bad night (1530)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.

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  (630): Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week. http://tfl.nu/dxsu
  Replies (5) Good night (2913) Bad night (1377) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day

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  (610): I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day http://tfl.nu/7iec
  Replies (16) Good night (3445) Bad night (849) Order T-Shirt
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?

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  (804): No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail? http://tfl.nu/kg64
  Replies (5) Good night (1197) Bad night (634) Order T-Shirt
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  (562): View more from California

  Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night

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  (562): Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night http://tfl.nu/ygnc
  Replies (4) Good night (807) Bad night (342) Order T-Shirt
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  (619): View more from California

  Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it

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  (619): Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it http://tfl.nu/a0r3
  Replies (1) Good night (930) Bad night (238) Order T-Shirt

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