just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
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do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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