I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
