I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Help me help you realize you are a moron
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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