Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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