your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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