I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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