I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
