I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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