So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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