ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
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There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
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I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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